We all know somebody in our lives, or maybe there’s multiple somebody’s that we blame for something majorly negative in our past, whether it’s a bad breakup or you feel that somebody stole your job promotion at work. We blame that person for something that happened then that is affecting us in the present. That’s holding us back from bigger and better things in our lives.
I’m not denying that, that is in fact the truth. One thing I want to offer you is the concept of effective blaming. What is effective blaming? Whatever the negative side effect was from your situation, there’s also something hugely positive that’s manifested itself in your life from that situation.
You may have become stronger for it. You may have become more determined. Maybe the job that you didn’t get, lead to you getting an even better job. It’s just possible that you quit that job at the company and you went on to bigger and better things in a new company. Almost always a situation that you’re blaming somebody for has a positive component to it. That’s the basis of effective blaming. Effective blaming means, if you’re going to blame that person for everything negative there is in your life, then you damn well better blame them for the positive effects of whatever happened.
If you lost a job, or you lost a promotion because somebody else less than you got it, and whatever you blame them for, or you blame your boss for, you better be blaming them for the perseverance you got out of it. The new job that you got because you got passed up for, maybe you went on, to get an even better job within the company. Or, you left that job and went on to bigger and better things. There-in lies the key. If you’re blaming somebody for something bad in your life, go back and really find what are the positive things as a result of that something? What are the gifts that you got out of that situation? There is always some positive gift that comes out of a negative situation. I guarantee you.
Then, you have a couple of options from that point. If you’re still in touch with that person, say it’s a family member. Pick up the phone or write them a letter with the express purpose of effectively blaming them. Tell them that you have gotten so much positive out of that situation. If you’re not up for that, write the letter anyway and just hold onto it. You don’t have to ever mail it, because I know that can be difficult. The ultimate would be to actually get in touch and effectively blame them for that situation. If you cannot step that far up, at least write them a letter, and put it in your desk drawer. That will go so far to serve you in positive ways.
I talked about forgiveness in one of my previous videos. That is a huge step to helping you forgive that person in your heart, and releasing that anger from you heart, so that now you can heal, allowing you to go on to even bigger and better things. Now you’ve recognized the gifts life has brought from that situations. And, you can leverage those gifts when you know that they’re there. You can make use of them for you own benefit.